[Drewski2112]

Dude, it's Chuck Norris in a porthole!

[Pavehawk]

When Chuck Norris's wife burned the turkey one Thanksgiving, Chuck said, "Don't worry about it honey," and went into his backyard. He came back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said, "Never question Chuck Norris."

[RadRig211]

Pavehawk, on Jan 18 2006, 08:42 PM, said:

When Chuck Norris's wife burned the turkey one Thanksgiving, Chuck said, "Don't worry about it honey," and went into his backyard. He came back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said, "Never question Chuck Norris."

Chuck Norris never shaves his beard. Simply looking in the mirror causes hair growth to cease, and excess hair to flee in terror.

[Greeney]

F*** you Chuck Norris